Answer to prayer

Look at my post from November 21st, (Trusting in God) number 2. Well, I prayed about it and prayed about it all day. When I finally called Skip (the guy who owns Lee's), he told me that he wanted somebody with more experience. I was perfect for that job, so much experience, REALLY good references, everything. I wasn't trying to put God to a test, I told Him that. What I laid our before Him was, "Lord, you decide what you want to happen. If you want me to go to Taylor I trust you to either find me a replacement for the job, or to not even let me have it." I don't want to put this in a list form or anything but...1, 3, and 4 are still hanging. I have trust in the Lord, but for how long can I last?
I think I might even have a new option, which adds to the difficulty of deciding.....I could even drop out of college for a semester to clear up my mind a bit. I would rather work a bit, make money and get out of this depression, than spend a bunch of money, trying to study, getting even more confused, and all that good stuff.

Nieve....

Yay. There is a huge snow advisory in my part of town. Not good for an unexperienced driver like me. God, I ask for your protection on my life now as I soon leave for Indiana...

Disengaging

Do you know the feeling of mentally unplugging from a place when you know you will move? Well, I haven't even applied to Taylor yet but I am still "moving out" mentally. I thought it was hard to do homework before...dang....now it is REALLY REALLY hard to do it. I am praying that God gives me the strength and will power to complete this crazy semester.

Trusting in God

Well, the way things are going now the only way I will survive is if I trust in God. I feel so helpless in this huge whirlwind that life is now. The only way that things are going to work out is if God moves all the pieces that need to be moved. By the way, I am currently thinking of transferring to Taylor this second semester. A few things need to be worked out for me to be able to go-
1) Housing. I can't leave my roommates like this without leaving a replacement to rent my room
2) Job. If I get this job at Lee's I want to make sure that I haven't wasted my employer's time.
3) Transfer. My grades are bellow normal and I am afraid that I might have difficulty getting them to accept me.
4) God. Does God really want me to go to Taylor? I am positive that it is He who is not making me feel comfortable here at Western.

I know that to follow Him we will suffer through hardships...but wouldn't He put joy in my heart for doing so? I am just really confused by all this...and its affecting my grades, my social life, my ability to go forward and pursue something. I need to know 100% that it is God's will and not my own. If not, I will never feel comfortable. I guess one way that God will show that He wants me to transfer is that He will work everything out...thankfully....since there is nothing that I can do.

Crazy...

Man...I'm having a hell of a time concentrating. I'm not sure what it is... I just hope things get better...

Playing around...

Well, I finally went through with buying some black nail polish. I was at Meijers tonight (1:00 am) and decided that it was time to get some. I am planning on growing out my pinky nails out nice and long to paint them. If all goes well...my thumb nails with be next. I'm not sure how people will react to them. Honestly; I don't give a crap.

Looking forward to change

I hung out with my cousins a bit tonight. They took me to a little Mexican restaurant with took me back into Bolivia and the cheap restaurants we had to eat at. We had a nice chat about what was making me depressed. I've come to the conclusion that my roommates are not helping me at all. They are nice Christian guys and all, but just not my type. We never do anything together...and they are a lot older than I am. Them being monocultural while I am tricultural does not help out at all. I have no idea how, if it will, it will all work out...but I am sure that God will figure things out for me. He knows what I need and what I don't need. He knows how long I can last under pressure. Dang, He made me...He knows me better than I know myself. I just hope that I have the courage to put ALL my trust in Him.

Tired of Waiting...

Well, God has seriously been working on me...a ton. I want to serve Him with all my being, and yet I still find ways to goof up my life though. I guess that is the story of all Christians and yet I still feel miserable every time I sin. My doctor says that I have problems with over judging myself and stuff like that. I have no will power whatsoever. I sit down to do homework...and all that comes out is poo poo. I dunno. I guess all that I need now is prayer. I am still listening to God on my decisions for my future in college.
I basicly have a few options--
1) Stay at Western
2) Transfer to Moody Bible Institute
3) Transfer to Taylor (Indiana)
4) Drop out

Well...whatever God has planned...I am going to trust Him with all that I am...which isn't much.